Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Me too!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
