you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
