Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
