So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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