I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
