i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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