i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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