Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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