Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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