ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
