I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize