how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
