So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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