Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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