I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm sobbing to NWA
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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