just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
