Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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