I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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