his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
