so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.  Â
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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