I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
