Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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