Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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