I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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