My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
