We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
