Barsexuality is the new black.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
