If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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