I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
