At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
