I seem to have left my pride at pride
Fuck appropriateness.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
