your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
