Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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