i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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