I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
