Umm I'm too high to move.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize