Your tits are I can't wait for
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
That accounts for only three of the penises
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize