She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
