Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
