Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
