I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
