SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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