I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
