come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize