There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
