i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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