She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
