They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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