somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
