I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize