He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
