I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
