mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
