Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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