Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
if only i could text you this smell
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
