I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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