when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
