I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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