i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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