Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
