tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize