I cockslap morals
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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