I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
