It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
