1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
