Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
