How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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