You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
