Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
