When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
