remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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