Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
