I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
