conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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