but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
