who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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