Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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