Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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