she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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