belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
