Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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