once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
